Criticism is an unwelcome but crucial part of our lives. 

We often try to avoid it because it can feel annoying, uncomfortable, and distressing. It drains away our self-esteem, makes us question our capabilities, and often makes us lose confidence in ourselves. 

Some people react even more poorly to criticism. They often snap back angrily. Or, they give in to the pressure and make incompatible life decisions. It's easy to get worked up about criticism and respond to it on an emotional level. However, that is not an ideal situation.

We must realize that criticism can also be a gift. If delivered and received skillfully, constructive criticism can help you improve your knowledge and skill sets. It can help you to learn, grow and improve. It can train your mind to see the good in every circumstance and make the best out of a bad situation. 

The clever and compassionate delivery of criticism by others is out of our control. However, we can take it upon ourselves to learn how to receive it ably. Read the article given below to develop a positive growth-oriented mindset towards criticism. 

Be Particular

Everyone has an opinion about what you are doing with your life. However, you must realize that not every opinion matters. 

Determine your group of well-wishers whom you respect. Decide whether you can trust their criticisms regarding your life decisions. Listen to their thoughts, but be ready to discard what doesn't work for you. 

Set the rest of the world apart and ignore their unsolicited remarks. However, this does not give you the excuse to be rude to them. Be polite, and keep your intuition handy. You will know if a random suggestion inspires you or not.  

More About Them

Everyone's a little biased, including you. Our life experiences color every aspect of our lives. Thus, how other people react to your life is more a matter of their past experiences than your future ambitions.

In such a case, it is ideal to develop a humble inner filter that reminds you of the differences in character, resources, and opportunities between the critic and yourself. Try to be compassionate towards the place where their criticisms are coming from. 

Most people are moving through life at their own pace, and that's okay. Learn to be kind towards the critic and yourself while maintaining a strong hold over your beliefs and emotions.

Be More Confident

Life decisions that push you out of your comfort zone also leave you vulnerable to self-doubt and insecurities. 

In such instances, your friends will cheer you on and reassure you that everything will work out in your favor. However, your naysayers will do the opposite. From genuine concern or ill-natured feelings (it is up to you to determine which), they will highlight your insecurities, magnify all chances of failure, and try to pull you down. 

To avoid this, develop more confidence. Self-confidence helps you recognize your abilities, interests, and feelings. It makes it easier to stand against unfair criticism. It helps rebalance yourself in case things go wrong. It improves your mindset and primes you for long-term success.

To develop more self-confidence, make a plan. Gain more clarity on your purpose, map out all possible ways of realizing your dream, lay down a rough timeline, and improvise your systems as and when required. You can choose to publicize your plan. Or you can share it only with your trustworthy acquaintances for their advice. 

Give Them A Chance

I strictly advise against completely dismissing your critics. Lend them an attentive ear. Consider if anything piqued your curiosity. Were there any significant points that you had overlooked? Can you take away something worthy from this? What can you improve? Keep what works for you, and discard the rest.

Inspiration can come from the oddest places. Similarly, your critics might serve as unexpected sources of ideas for you. They are criticizing you as they have identified a gap in your work/life and want to help you improve it. Paying heed to your naysayers might make them more eager to cooperate since they feel heard now. However, use your discretion to separate those who nag from those who might have something more substantial to offer.

Communicate

Establish communication, especially when your critics are crucial relatives such as your parents, spouses, genuine friends, work supervisors, colleagues, or close mentors.

Proper communication can help you bridge at least 50% of the differences (given that both parties want to reach a mutual understanding). 

Some tips could be to find out the right time (and mood) to raise the topic and to try your best to remain calm, even if the conversation goes south. Hear them out patiently before making your points, and tell them which of their points you are willing to consider. Paraphrase to gain more clarity. Seek to reach a mutual understanding. 

Successful communication requires a lot of patience, empathy, and effort on both sides. There are situations where this may, in fact, not work. Though unfortunate, you must acknowledge that reality and seek other ways to solve the problem.

Avoid Being Defensive

Criticism can often make us feel uncomfortable and frantic. 

In such instances, some people often react poorly. They begin engaging in emotionally defensive maneuvers to avoid unwanted feelings or to discard responsibility for their actions. They minimize the other person's feelings and experiences. They start pointing fingers, calling names, raising their voice, or throwing fits. 

All of the above are examples of terribly immature behavior that we should never display. They leave no space for flaw-rectification, mutual understanding, or personal improvement.

As human beings, it is natural for us to make mistakes in professional and personal fields. Receiving criticism or feedback on such fallacies is an opportunity for growth. Accept it with a calm demeanor. Avoid becoming defensive. If you have to explain yourself, then do it calmly. Take responsibility for the harmful consequences of your actions. Lastly, put in the effort required to become better.  

Always Be Polite

Criticism that comes from any external source has no real power over you. You can choose to accept it, just as you can choose to disregard it. 

Therefore, instead of letting it get the best of you, you should remain neutral and maintain a strong hold over your emotions. Realize that receiving criticism for the gaps in your skill set doesn’t make you any less. Pause for a brief moment to process what you are hearing. Ask meaningful questions. Discuss your understanding of the matter. Let your positive behavior highlight your high emotional intelligence and willingness to learn. 

Look Out For Yourself

Sometimes, insensitive people condemn us more harshly than reasonable. Sharp words, humiliation, bullying, blaming, name-calling, and threatening are examples of how harmless criticism can descend to something much more abusive. 

In such instances, it is natural to feel triggered. Leave the situation as soon as possible. Remind yourself of your self-worth. Acknowledge all the negative feelings that surfaced due to the interaction. Be compassionate towards yourself. Channel any intrusive negative thoughts via journaling later. Remind yourself that these hurtful words from others have no real power over you. Listen to some of your preferred uplifting songs. Talk about it with a trusted friend. Bring the matter to the attention of your seniors or supervisors to further protect yourself. Stay strong.

Walk Away

Not all criticism is constructive. With poorly delivered words, even your biggest "well-wisher" can make you feel judged and attacked. 

In such instances, walk away from potentially triggering conversations. Let them know that you cannot hear them now. Suggest a later hour to get back to the conversation, which may give them time to weigh their criticism too.

Know That It’s Okay

Last but not least, remember that criticism is an inevitable part of life. Every step that you take can and will receive some negativity in life. In fact, your own mind will often oppose you with second guesses, indecision, insecurities, and self-doubt. Life is meant to be a battlefield of uncertainties, and that’s okay. 

No one knows their future minute for minute. Very few people have a bulletproof plan for life. Your life is a journey unique to you. And sometimes, the life decisions that you make will pull you down some unconventional lanes which might bring even more scrutiny to your table. The people around you will always have an opinion on how you can walk, talk, speak, eat, bathe, sleep, study, or work better. It is an illusion to think that you will be universally loved. This is why you must learn and practice effective criticism handling.